Ke Ola Pono: Makahiki Resolutions
By Leilehua Yuen
Makahiki, Christmas, and the New Year all are times of fresh beginnings. Many people make resolutions at this time to do better or be better in the coming year. While making resolutions is common around the world—according to some researchers, about 50% of us make such resolutions—fewer than 10% of us actually keep them for a full year.
What’s going on? Are most of us weak-willed? Are we lazy? Do 90% of us just make resolutions that are too hard to keep? Ah. Now we are getting somewhere.
Research has shown that to be effective, a resolution should meet two critical criteria. It must be:
- SPECIFIC
- REALISTIC
“Get in shape” is not specific. Because it is undefined and amorphous, it is not quantifiable and it is hard to visualize.
“Walk two miles per day” is specific. This is clearly defined, concrete, and quantifiable. It is easy to visualize.
The better we can visualize a goal, the more likely we are to achieve it.
Of course, if the goal is unrealistic it is unachievable. By setting unachievable goals, we only train ourselves for failure.
Once a specific and realistic resolution is made, there are a number of techniques we can use to help ourselves meet it.
Enlist friends and family as a support group
Choose people who are actually supportive of that specific goal. Sometimes, even people who love us will undermine our efforts by enabling bad behavior.
An example is the partner who rewards us with our favorite cake every time we start to lose weight. Another is the friend who begs us to go out nightclubbing when our resolution is to finish writing a book.
Start small
Little steps make long journeys. Every time we take a step that succeeds, we train for success. Those successes add up!
Change one thing at a time
Trying to live up to a whole batch of resolutions can get overwhelming and discouraging. We can get so overwhelmed that we just give up on the whole kit and kaboodle. Selecting the one that is most important and working on that, we are far more likely to succeed.
Break it into steps
Sometimes, the goal is a big one, and there is no getting around it. We can break those into smaller steps and work on one at a time, setting mileposts for progress. We can predetermine rewards for achieving each milepost, and then be sure to enjoy them at the appropriate time.
Look for rewards
Every day we can find at least one good thing that came from working on the resolution. If we focus on that, instead of on the mistakes, it helps us to keep moving toward the goal.
Expect ups and downs
We will miss gym dates, have an extra snack, sleep late, be too tired to journal. If we know that it will happen and already plan to be kind to ourselves, identify what went wrong, and get back on track, we will be less likely to waste energy and time with beating ourselves up.
Keep track of progress
Sometimes the best way to avoid discouragement about how far we have to go is to look back at how far we have come. Keeping a journal, a chart, or even posting progress on social media gives us a record that we can look back at and say, “Wow! I had no idea I’d come so far!”
Remember that change takes time
We are all works in progress. It took our whole lives to get where we are. It will take the rest of our lives to get where we are going. But if we keep taking those small steps, we can make the journey better and better! ❖
Contact writer Leilehua Yuen: kumuleimanu@gmail.com
